Fun Way to Deal With Debt Collectors: I’m Not John Smith!
Sometimes, you just have to get a little humorous with your debt collectors. A little laughter is good for the mind, body, and soul every once in a while, especially if you’re feeling overwhelmed by phone calls. If you’ve followed my advice to send a cease and desist letter, relief from harassing debt collectors is likely a few days away. In the meantime, why not have a little fun to lighten your mood?
Next time your debt collector or agency calls, fool with them on the phone. Not only is it fun, but it’s a sharp and witty way to score a few bonus points against the opposition. There is nothing better than hearing a confused collector’s voice on the other end of the line, scrambling for her words, trying to make sense of the conversation at hand.
Here’s a few examples of what you can do:
- Tell them that they just called a crime scene and that they may need to come into the “station” for further questioning.
- Tell them that you are your own grieving father/mother and that you tragically passed away last night.
- Tell them that you aren’t you: you are, in fact, your gay lover and that if they catch that cheating S.O.B. you want them to call you and give you their new phone number. Cry on the phone. Ham it up until they hang up on you. Remember, their time in money.
- Say nothing but the word “Yes” until they catch on, eventually hanging up on you.
- Tell them that you are the new occupants of the house and that the person they’re looking for actually moved to Oakland, California a few days ago. You just so happen to have the new phone number…somewhere. Ask them to hold on for a few moments while you locate the phone number and then wait until they get bored and hang up. If they call back, give them the number of an apartment building manager.
All kidding aside, stories of people telling their creditors that the person they are looking for is deceased or not living in the home anymore surface all the time; the best part is that they should work, at least until your cease and desist letters arrive. If you tell a creditor that the person they are looking for no longer exists, they are no longer legally allowed to call your residence because that would be harassment to the “real” people living there.
Providing this false information will send waves of confusion up and down the company’s communications chain and will most likely lead them into a never-ending misdirection. You are under no legal obligation to tell them the truth at any time: you cannot be arrested or charged with any crime for telling lies to a bill collector on the phone.
Every time they call, just stick with the original story (it’s probably best to stick with a universal story for all debt collection agencies). Just keep telling them that “John got arrested last week: he’s still not out of jail” or “John lives out in Oakland now, sorry.”
What you have actually done is used reverse psychology on them; fooling them into believing an obvious story. And how can a debt collector argue that you didn’t get thrown in jail?
Just have some fun and let loose. Remember, they’re calling you, not the other way around. Game on.
Related posts:
- ID, Please! How to use the Fair Debt Collections Practices Act to Outwit Bill Collectors.
- Know Your Rights About Debt Collectors
- Surprising Fact Debt Collectors Won’t Tell You: Your Debt Expires!
- Federal Debtor’s Prisons Making a Comeback for Credit Card Debt
- Avoid Debt Collectors With Bedroom Banking
